Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
