I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
She announced her abortion via fbk
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
Don't worry, your car is safe with me. I am throwing watermelons out of it at mailboxes and hipster kids.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
I mean of all the things to be cockblocked by, Taco Bell is pretty high on the list
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Randomize
