Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize