He can't get past my hymen. At least that's what he said it feels like.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
She didn't know my name but she knew I was Canadian so she just called me Canada. It sounded like the national anthem when we were fucking.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She's running around the streets punching people and narrating. I don't know whether to laugh or stop her
Unintionally got shitfaced at study group this week. The waitress brought out a fishbowl of long Island iced tea. Challenge accepted.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
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