you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
where am i from again
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
there's just a random girl here singing about how much she loves fiber
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I'm actually pretty sure the amount of alcohol I drank last night erased memories from other times in my life.
My boss is paying me to come clean his house in a maid outfit and told me not to tell anyone....this is shady as fuck but I need the money
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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