i love marijuana more then i could love a human baby.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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