Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
The lady at the touchless car wash just gave me the look of death. How do I say, "sorry it's not my puke" in Spanish?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
