Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
bleeding from the face, sitting in a shopping cart and holding a wad of ripped caution tape. what else would i be doing?
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
I woke up this morning fully clothed with a dart in my pocket
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I mean, if I asked you, would you cum on cotton candy for me?
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