I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
I need to figure out how to tell my doctor that I don't want to fix my possible fertility problems until AFTER I'm done whoring around in my 20s.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Tbh I fell asleep cuddling a bag of Brazilian nuts. Franzia never dissappoints me
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
Randomize
