Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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