I bet he comes in French.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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