The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
Have you ever secretly resented a girl for wanting to have sex when all you really wanted to do was rub one out and go to sleep?
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
His sister just told me that she thinks i'm a stupid bitch and that by going thru with this I'm ruining his life.
sounds like a hell of a rehearsal dinner
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
Holy shit dude........stairs
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Randomize