So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I often get tempted to walk up to her drunk ass and say, "shouldn't you be taking care of your kid?"
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
I don't know if its because i'm stoned or what but painting my kitchen yellow makes it look crooked
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Alright dude i'm gonna go to go sleep off this soberness. my life is a cosmic joke
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
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