grandma shit on top of the toilet
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
You demanded I give you a glass of water, so I set it down in front of you and you knock it over and roll in it..,
I wanted to be a dolphin.
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
His dick is the size of my forearm. Would it be rude to ask to take a comparison photo after sex?
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Randomize
