yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
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