Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
You do realize I got a panda tattooed on my ass just to get you laid, right?
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Btw: some husbands are not impressed by me trying to snap photos of their wives camel toe.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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