Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Omg 230 lb butch lesbian with a mustache grabbed my dick. I need an adult
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
No seriously, I don't care if you just sucked God's dick. I have had a better Fat Tuesday than you
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
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