were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
Randomize
