new low, i just stole money from my 5 year old sister to buy condoms
hell yes lets make some ravioli
By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
At the gym and this really hot trainer checked me out and was talking to his buddy about his workout. He then says "yeah man, like I'm doing so many reps- what's 7 times 7, 45?"
He was THIS close.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
