I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Randomize
