Do you have any cake mix? I kind of need to make a "im sorry i drank all your parents tequila, threw up all over your floor and slept with you boyfriend" cake.
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize