All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
thus making me awesome and them whores
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
My boyfriend just sent me flowers. I am now crying at the fact i fucked my fat neighbor. God please help me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize
