Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
just threw up into the cup of Gatorade I was hoping would settle my stomach. thanks again, alcohol.
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
Hello everyone will one of you please inform me on why I woke up in a cardboard recycle dumpster with no shirt and a stuffed animal? I want to hear this explanation.
Your godly.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
Btw there's a hedgehog in my room. Don't get it high
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I've decided to have sex with him one more time to make sure I don't like him
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize