D3 body, D1 cock
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
What you have to understand is that our lives aren't a disappointment so much as they crashed and burned with lethal doses of radiation and dog shit.
Randomize
