I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
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