she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
Randomize