Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
we're havin a 400 loko party for joe pa's 400th win. come get loko
Dont be alarmed when you find the maintenance guy passed out on your couch. I didn't to explain why I was there so I offered him a drink, I dont know what happened after that.....
I would've been fine if I didn't do the three shots
You did like 8
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
