Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
