You were telling me about how you were gonna marry him, have his children and name them all woodchip.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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