Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So the guy sitting next to me is watching dungeons and dragons on youtube. I didnt realize you could get more pathetic than actually playing the game.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
