You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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