just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
But it's not about our feelings, it's about making the men we sleep with feel awful about their lives
I figured out why I insisted on leaving my sweater on the ground outside. I smelled it and I'm 97% sure I peed on it last night
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
I can only only sleep there on nights I orgasm cause he snores so loud and if he leaves me hanging one more time ill probably cut off his dick from lack of sleep and frustration
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize