With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
God I feel like the rain man of hangovers.
I deserve a fucking award for best roommate. I just cleaned his room, so he can have a 3 some
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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