can you come get me and bring me shorts and a shirt
maybe shoes and water too
oh and maybe a noose to hang myself
I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I need the number of a restaurant that delivers, has lock-picking abilities, and is okay with full frontal male nudity. Entirely too hungover to get out of bed.
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Seriously my only wish tonight is to be at the club in a sombrero w my shirt off pouring tequila on bitches titties
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
It's a lube slip n slide down the hallway now. Details later.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
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