I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
Just tried my new showerhead. Sex with Brian will never be the same.
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
It's that time of night again when I start to think I'm really funny, but no one else is as drunk as I am so they all start avoiding me.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
Randomize