I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
The picture that pops up when I call her phone is a picture of my nipple. Just so you're forewarned.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
Randomize