That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Remember that crazy chick I've been ignoring and said I wouldn't bang her again? Can we start that again part today?
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
Randomize
