32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I was all, oh. I've had tattoos and broken a limb. Waxing my lady parts will be a cake walk. I was wrong.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
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