Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
