Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I may have just got motorboated by a male stripper who told me I should be a porn star and not a vet student.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
