So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
When she introduced her friend to me I shook his hand and told him not to leave his ugly vest at my apartment in the morning. He took it off and bought me a shot.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
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