she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
I don't save the phone numbers of guys I don't like. That way it's a surprise when a random number texts me and tells me I have great tits.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Randomize
