i just went dwnstairs and there are 5 guys without their shirts on hugging each other. i think i should leave now
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I remember coming home with a cat... I havent seen it all day. Shit.
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Today one of my patients offered me pot brownies. Medical school worth it. Living the dream.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
You've changed since you got that strap on
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
