I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
and now there are teeth marks on my dick.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I would have thought, as two of my best friends, you girls could have cought me as I fell out of the shower. There are so many bruises.
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Randomize
