I wish I could rss feed the hooker ads on craigslist because it looks suspicious that I check craigslist every hour.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have cum and leaves all over me. Don't ask questions.
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
We are literally scheduling phone sex... if that's not long distance af then i don't know what is
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
