I'm dying. Please wear something slutty to my funeral.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
Randomize
