:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Hide in the closet. if you hear me yell patato salad come out swinging.
Also, we found a geriatric Snoop Lion.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
I wouldn't be able to live with myself if I blew a Trump supporter.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
FUCK WHALES
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
