Having your wife answer your cell was so lame. Maybe we can talk when you get your phone, your facebook account, and your balls back.
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
Strip clubs just aren't as fun when a man tries to drunkenly grind on you.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
we should paint friendship bongs
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