Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
You told the guy in Wawa you needed his hoagie for "a scavenger hunt" and then called him a "fuckstained Muggle" when he didn't give it to you. You are a delight.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
Apparently I bought a laptop last night, then gave the laptop to a friend who was going to give it to her friends' friend to put some cool shit on it. Anyway, I have no idea where my new laptop is now.
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
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