i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
I don't care if you go out, because at the end of the night I know i'll be the one fucking you.
that was completely unnecessary, true, but unnecessary
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
I CAN'T FUCK HIM OUTSIDE. THAT'S FOR PEASANTS. HE'S TOO FAMOUS FOR THAT.
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
I know you like got hit by a car but do you want to come to my birthday pardi
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
