what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I'll hold a taco with my boobs for you
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
Randomize
