Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Their was just 7 people standing outside eating a costco chicken, definitley at the right party
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I apologize in advance for the number of sex toys drying on the bathroom sink.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
Randomize
