I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
this potential sugar daddy just sent me a photo of him butt naked in the woods saying he wants to "grow our spirits together." so i think i found us a new drug dealer!
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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