Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
It was the gentlest way I could hit on a girl who just got hit by a car
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
you're a fucking everclear ninja. the whole goddamn formal blacked out. you're the worst dj ever
but I'm the best friend ever. I got you laid
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
I don't know if I'm more excited about sex or that I have an excuse to smoke a cigarette
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Help me help you realize you are a moron
2017 is my year to realize stuff. Move over Kylie Jenner
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