How do you jack off and text at the same time?
On my iPhone they have an app for that
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I mean he's a cool ass guy, but he's genuinely in love with a fat chick. I just can't take him seriously as a person.
I think I have internal bruising from those poses we were doing last night. My own ribs hurt me. I don't understand.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
