It's just like the Real World with babies
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I'm not drunk because I think my blood just is alcohol from last night so being drunk is sober. If that makes sense
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
How do I cancel buying spotify premium for two homeless people?
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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