i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Stop it with the monkey emojis. It's like sexting with Curious George
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Randomize