sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
Nothing says "I'm a sorority girl" like puking at 830 in the am, wearing my anti-hazing pin, and getting ready for a tea party.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
As hard as i've been partying lately their gonna have to revoke my organ donor status
Ok but if you die you have to get "I should've listened to Mike" carved into your tombstone
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
He can spot Burberry from half a bar away. He's not into vag
i woke up in just my socks. my clothes were outside, he had rugburn on his elbows, and a window was broken.
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
soo... how was my night?
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